10 ways to annoy Tai Lung
by SilverArrow13
Summary: So, if you ever see Tai Lung, this is a guide to how to annoy him, so much he will paralyze you, but it is so funny! Enjoy! I'm doing T for suggestive themes.


**This is my first story so no flames please!  
Have fun!**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Kung Fu Panda, I just own the DVD and some action figures. _**

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**_10 ways to annoy Tai Lung, and what he would do to you afterwards._**

**1. Make fun of him being defeated by a panda, then suggest he "Should avoid trying to kiss Po's belly, but if you want to go down _that_ road...", run away as fast as possible**

Tai Lung and Kimiko was walking through the Hall of Heroes when Kimiko suddenly said, " You know Tai Lung? You should have avoided kissing Po's belly during your battle, but hey, if you want to go down _that_ road, I'm not stopping you." Kimiko then found herself running around the Jade Palace trying to outrun a very angry snow leoperd.

**2. Slip a letter to Tigress with *lemony* stuff and sign it, then add:**

**_P.S. Open the door when you get dressed, it's hard to see through the cracks._**

Kimiko wrote a very lemony letter to Tigress. She signed it from Tai Lung, then as if in an afterthought, added P.S. She slipped it under Tigress's door just as Tai Lung was coming past.  
"What are you-" Tai Lung was about to say when Tigress called out.  
"TAI LUNG!" yelled an angry Tigress.

**3. Steal Monkey's cookies and blame it on Tai Lung after he gets beat up by Tigress**

Kimiko was just finished hiding Monkey's almond cookies when said golden languar appeared.  
"Kimiko, where are my almond cookies?" said a very angry Monkey.  
"I don't know. I did see Tai Lung carrying a cookie jar to his room though."  
Tai Lung just came out of his room after wrapping band-aids on his person, when something golden flew at him and attacked him.

**4. Suggest acupuncture with Mantis to get rid of the pain that Monkey and Tigress gave him. Tell Mantis to stick the needles in the wrong places to make him look ridiculous**

"Tai Lung, I'm very sorry to blame you to hurt you. Why don't you visit Mantis? He knows acupuncture." said Kimiko.  
"That isn't a bad idea. Your still in trouble though." said a pained snow leoperd who went into Mantis's room. Mantis was at the Moon Pool when Kimiko came.  
"Mantis, Tai Lung's in your room for acupuncture, but he said that 'you were a stick bug who couldn't hold thread let alone needles.'." said Kimiko.  
"Did he now?" said Mantis. "Bring your camera Kimi, you might want to take a picture of Tai Lung after I'm through with him."

**5. Lock him up in a closet with Tigress after getting him drunk**

"Come on Tai Lung. You shouldn't have entered that drinking contest with Vachir. Here's your 'room'." said Kimiko, who led Tai Lung into a closet where Tigress was. Tigress was just finished putting up the cleaning supplies she used when a drunkened snow leoperd entered and the closet door was closed and locked.

**6. Laugh at the newly beaten up Tai Lung and say "Aw, did the wittle kitty get beaten up by his girlfwiend?" Run away as fast as possible**

"Aw, did the widdle kitty get beten up by his girlfwiend?" said Kimiko the morning after the closet incident. She found herself once again running for her life being chased by Tai Lung.

**7. Steal Viper's make-up, put the make-up on a sleeping Tai Lung, making him look like he was putting it on himself, then point a very angry Viper to his bedroom**

Kimiko just finished removing the evidence from her hands when an infuriated Viper came.  
"Kimiko, where is my make-up?"  
"I saw Tai Lung bringing some bags into his room. Maybe he knows." said Kimiko. After a while, she heard a yowl and some hissing coming from Tai Lung's room.

**8. Laugh and make fun when you see Tai Lung even more beat up, run**

"First Tigress then Viper! Tai Lung, you must be a magnet for girl trouble." said Kimiko after she saw a beaten(ed?) Tai Lung. She found herself once again running for her life.

**9. Photo-shop a picture of Tai Lung with a teddy bear and sucking his thumb, copy, then spread the copies around the village**

Kimiko spent all night making a fake photo of Tai Lung sucking his thumb and holding a teddy bear and was currently passing out the copies to everyone she met.  
"KIMIKO!!!!!!!!" said Tai Lung after he got his paws on a copy.

**10. Follow him around the village calling him Kitty, Tai-Tai, and repeatedly "accidentally" step on his tail, run **

"I'm really, really, _**really**_ sorry Tai-Tai. I will never do it again kitty. Please forgive me snowball." said Kimiko stepping on the snow leoperd's tail with each word.  
"WHY?!?!? Why do you torment me so?!?!?! Do you find some pleasure from my pain?!?!?! Do you know how much Tigress's claws hurt? Or Viper's fangs? Or even Monkey's bamboo stick? Why can't you leave me _**ALONE**_?!?!?!?" exploded Tai Lung suddenly.  
" 'Cause I like you Tai Lung." said Kimiko, who suddenly kissed him and skipped to the Jade palace leaving behind a very confused, and somewhat hopeful, snow leoperd.

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**Hope you Enjoyed it! Remember to Review!**

Tai Lung: I still am in pain from those attacks.

Me: Sorry, it had to happen. *hugs him*

Tai Lung: IT **BURNS!!!!!!!!**

Me: Remember to review!


End file.
